1. Train time on the LIRR before 9am is nap time. If
you have the sudden urge to dramatically grumble about your birthday
plans or to raucously discuss obscure 90s TV shows... Don't.
2. If you
cannot walk in high heels without tottering about like a little girl
wearing her momma's shoes, it might be best to opt for flats next time.
You will look much cuter striding confidently in flats
you can walk in rather than wobbling about in sky high heels. Don't be
that woman.
3. If you're a dopey teenager, you will not look cooler to
those around you by loudly announcing to your friends: "I'm a lone
wolf." Clearly, you are not. And furthermore, you're just dopey. Please
don't hurt my head like this ever again or I will be forced to
retaliate. Thank you. Your friendly neighborhood grouch.
[Originally posted on June 9, 2012, at 10:37am.]
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